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Everybody and their grandmother seems to be hot in the pants (and not just from crotch-searing metal-encased Macbook Pros) over the expected announcement of Apple’s new tablet next Tuesday. I have a lifelong gadget fetish, and since falling in love with a Mac-addict my hard-line stance on Apple has softened, but as much as I want to be excited I just can’t picture what the iSlate will do that’s worth getting sweaty about.
Since I don’t have the upwards of $1,000 it’s likely to cost (well, I do but it’s aimed at building a new desktop in the near future) I am embracing my inner Apple-humbug and consoling myself with reminders that the device won’t be life-altering enough to tackle the following:
- Do my taxes
- Clean the litterbox
- Refill my gin and tonic
- Share my sense of outrage over the cancellation of yet another awesome Joss Whedon series
- Rub my back
- Allow me to work from home
- Slap anybody having a serious discussion about elven facial hair
- Replace my tampons.
Find me a gadget that does all of that and I will marry it in Guam.